One round of chemotherapy left to go and the finish line was in sight! I was all set to have my last round of chemo on 8/26, the day before my birthday, and put this all behind me. I was so excited to be able to start September without writing “Chemo Treatment” in my planner. My most recent two rounds have hit me harder and faster than expected and have really been wearing on my body more than the first few did. Treatment number five was almost delayed because my labs were too poor but I was able to get them up just enough to stay on track.

Round 5 did me dirty and my body has not recovered enough to keep me on track. This delay has pros and cons and I can’t help but feel negative about it this close to the end. Reality is that this sucks. Not only do I physically feel weakened but mentally I am defeated. This entire process has been wearing on my physical and mental health with no easing up. I am tired of fighting a battle I don’t see ending. When chemo is completed I am still and will always be “The Cancer Girl”. Going to the cancer hospital is something I will have to do for the rest of my life whether I am going for my last round of chemo or my post chemo follow up’s.

Enough with my negativity! While this delay has completely wrecked my plans and mentality, it did come with a few benefits. On a positive note, my son just had surgery so I was able to be more present during his recovery and take some stress off my husband trying to care for both of us. I am allowed an extra week to build my strength up before chemo wrecks me again and for that my body is extremely grateful. I also get to spend my birthday not laying in my bed all day!

Throughout this journey I have tried to remain positive and see the brighter side of things. I have rarely allowed myself to actually embrace the “this sucks” attitude, but y’all, THIS SUCKS! Cancer makes it hard to see the bright side of things a lot of the time so I have tried to spin my perspective as much as I can to keep my chin up. I am so extremely thankful for the support system I have had through this process because without all of you, I would not be this close to the end. I am a firm believer that attitude is everything. Time for me to get away from the “this sucks” attitude and get some strength up for my final round!

Here’s to my chemo free birthday and saying goodbye to my bad attitude!