What You Focus On Expands
“What you focus on expands” is a phrase I learned through my brokerage but it truly encompassed how I have felt through my entire cancer journey. The idea behind the phrase is simple- if you focus on the negative then everything will seem negative and if you focus on the positive then everything will seem positive. This applies to so many things, not just your mindset. For example let’s say you start looking into buying a new car and you really want a black Toyota 4 Runner. Miraculously, as you start driving around town you will begin to notice them everywhere. Did everyone decide to go out and buy a black Toyota 4 Runner? Nope but you did and that’s why you see them more and more. You are thinking about that car and now that’s all you see.
This is so important when it comes to our mindset, especially around challenges. I could look at my battle with cancer and get really down about the things I have gone through and the ways it has changed my life. Believe me, a negative list is super easy to make and I don’t think anyone would fault me for making it. However, if I sit in this mindset of woe is me, my life is hard, and everything sucks then everything will suck.
If I make that little bit of extra effort to say “You know what? It does suck that this happened. However, it has also blessed me with time at home with my son, an amazing supportive community, and the ability to share my story and help others along with so many other amazing things.” Then maybe, just maybe, it’ll seem to get better. Wallowing around in self pity is the easy way out. Everyone can play the victim, I want to be set apart. I strive to be that smiling face in a sea of despair. I want to be the glass half full, the rainbow in the storm, the calm in the sea, and whatever other cheesy metaphor you can come up with!
Your mindset really does shift your attitude and your actions. Starting your day with a grateful heart shapes how the rest of your day will go, despite the challenges you may face. Back to school traffic is a nightmare right now but it gives me a few extra minutes of alone time in the car. Training for this half marathon is kicking my butt but my body is moving and doing more than I ever thought I could do post chemo and too many surgeries. Working isn’t always the best but I am grateful to be able to help my clients and to have a flexible career that I enjoy. The list goes on and on and on but the principle stays the same. If you go about your day grumbling along and being miserable then you are going to stay miserable.
There is a time to wallow, sadness, a little self pity, etc. but what is important is to allow that time and then allowing it to end. Focusing on the positive side of things doesn’t mean that the bad doesn’t exist or that things are not hard. Trying to see the positive just changes how you handle the challenges and the struggles you will face.
My challenge to you is to start focusing on the positive by making a gratitude list and grow it. Start today by naming three things you are grateful for and keep that going each day. Be specific and avoid repetition. You can’t use “I’m grateful for my coffee” everyday. Let me know yours for today in the comments.
Remember: What you focus on expands! Go out and do great things!